Skin & Blister

Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood’ – Gloria Steinem

sisterhood

When I think back to my childhood and all the significant heartaches I’ve had in my life, an overwhelming percentage of them haven’t been caused by whichever boy was flavour of the day for me at that time, but by other girls. I like to consider myself a girls girl, and I really value the ladies I have in my life that I’m lucky enough to call friends but I upsets me when I see girls being so catty and bitchy towards each other.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done my fair share of slagging off in the past, there are some girls I went to school with who the only conversations I ever had were based around being mean and petty about other girls, which looking back now, wasn’t a healthy relationship at all, and needless to say I’m not really in touch with any of those girls anymore! Even as an adult I find myself hating the girl in the street who has the same skirt as me but 3 sizes smaller and looks like a goddess in it whereas I look like a Scandinavian oopma loompa in mine – that’s human nature. But that says more about my insecurities about my weight and height than it does about her. Maybe for me it’s just a case of treating people how I want to be treated. When I get a piece of good news, I want people to be happy for me and congratulate me, alternatively if I’m having a day I want someone to relate to me and tell me they understand. Why are so many women not happy for you when you succeed or are secretly pleased when you fail? Is it jealousy or feeling of inadequacy or do some women think you’re showing off if you talk about how proud you are of your recent weight loss, or promotion at work, or bargain you got in Primark?

I suppose it’s human nature to be slightly competitive with or people, especially if you see that person as a threat in some way and a little bit of competitiveness can be healthy.  I also think men have a lot to answer when it comes to women being catty. The popular girls at school were always the pretty girls who got the attention from all the boys, and if you weren’t one of the popular girls (I certainly wasn’t) then you hated them. Because getting attention from boys when you’re 14 is pretty much the only thing you think about. The only solace I take from that is looking back now with the wonders of Facebook and Twitter, I wouldn’t swap my life for any of theirs. There you go, was that me just being catty myself?!

It’s tough. I do believe that if you’re happy with your current position in life, it will be much easier to be happy for others but I also think of all that has been fought for regarding women’s right, women who threw themselves in front of horses to fight for equality. It’s hard enough being women in society today, even in 2013, being thought of as the weaker sex, without us turning on each other as well.

Further reading: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201211/why-do-women-act-catty

2 thoughts on “Skin & Blister

  1. I have one daughter (turned18 yesterday) and three sons, 16, 11 and 9. I can say that my daughter definitely has been the victim of nasty cattiness far more than all three of my sons put together. But is this because they are victims at the hands of others or victims of themselves? Where does this self hate come from? As females, we are judged continually. It is in our culture. The magazines, the size 6 and 8 clothing racks, (the size 14 and 16+ are on the end of the rack trying to hide their ‘ugliness’), the constant images of perfection being thrown in our faces.It is up to all of us to help change the expectations on girls to fit a mould. I wish we could snap our fingers and make it an even playing field but we can’t so it is up to us to raise our daughters as much as our sons to see the female species as all beautiful in all their shapes, colours and forms.

  2. Pingback: This Girl Can Campaign: What about the boys? | Honestly Helen

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