New Year, Old Me

‘I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something’ Neil Gaiman


I have a bad feeling about 2015. And i don’t say that to sound dramatic, i just don’t like the sound of it. It sounds so much further in the future than 2014, it’s the middle of the decade now, it makes me feel like time is accelerating way too fast, and i want it to slow down so i can really live it and enjoy it.


Things aren’t great at work. They’re not bad, but there’s a bit of change afoot (which doesn’t affect my position) but no matter how adaptable to try to make myself out to be, I don’t like change. I was an army brat, a forces kid, whatever you want to call it so we moved around a lot when I was younger, I had to be adaptable to change, but that doesn’t mean I like it. I welcome change, especially as I think it will be for the better (which this reshuffle will be) but I’m not a fan of the transition period, where no-one really knows what they’re doing, and everyone’s getting used to their new roles. That’s coming in the next week or so and I’m dreading it, I want it to be 3 months down the line when I’m settled again and everything hunky dory.

Another reason I think I’m so reluctant to welcome in 2015 is that I was actually rather fond of 2014 and would have happily seen it stick around for a while longer. I had a good 2014. My husband and I celebrated our first year wedding anniversary in March and had a lovely holiday in Florida. I got into running, and completed my first ever competitive race on June 6th, Dave completed his epic 69 mile foot race on June 21st and we followed that up with another holiday to Portugal immediately afterwards.A couple of friends got engaged, another had a baby, I turned a corner and gained some confidence at work. 2014 was a good year. I was happy in 2014 apart from alight blip at the very end, so even though it’s a new year, I don’t really want it to be a new me.

As far as resolutions go, I only have 2; to get back into running as a knee injury at the end of the year meant I hadn’t been out in a few weeks, and to worry less. The end of last year was also marred a little bit by all the pending work changes which made me anxious, and I hate that i get anxious about things I have no control over. If I can get these two things locked down, i reckon I’d be one happy bunny again and me and 2015 might even end up being mates one day!

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