‘Everybody with a womb doesn’t have to have a child any more than everybody with vocal cords has to be an opera singer’ – Gloria Steinem
I genuinely don’t know if i’ll ever have children or not. Ever since my early twenties I’ve thought ‘maybe, one day’. Problem is, i’m 33 in a few weeks time and I still think ‘maybe, one day’ but certainly not yet. At 33, if it’s not ‘yet’ yet then when will it be?
Anyway, I digress, point is, it’s hard to bestow wisdom on someone i’m not even sure will exist.But for the point of this exercise, here are 3 things I’ve learnt that I would pass on to any child:
1. Be Kind
You don’t know what person battles people are fighting, and we all have them. Give people the benefit of the doubt unless they give you reason not to. Being mean to someone doesn’t make you better than them. Smile at strangers, you never know when you may unknowingly brighten someone’s day.
2. Stand Up For Yourself
Take this from a life long push-over. If you set a precedence of being a door mat people will take advantage and make you feel like crap if they can get away with it. It’s taken years of practice and putting myself out of my comfort zone but i’m tougher now than I ever have been. I just wish i’d been tougher from a younger age, it would have saved a lot of heartache, especially in high school!
3. Surround Yourself With Good People
One of my favourite quotes is ‘F*ck up and see who’s still around’ they’re you’re real friends. I’m a massive people pleaser (it’s the ENFJ in me!) and for years and years I wanted everyone to like me, if they didn’t, I saw it as a challenge and would try and make them like me. That approach tends to look pretty needy and desperate. So surround yourself with people who make you laugh until you wet yourself and then laugh some more because you just wet yourself!
Having kids teaches you how to be a giving person and to stop thinking about only yourself – full stop!
Not having kids (or not being able to) doesn’t automatically a selfish person though, you can still be giving and thoughtful without them ☺