‘People care less about your actions than you think. Why? They have their own problems!’ – Kris Carr
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a girl, and despite the fact that I will maintain I was a tom boy growing up because I climbed the odd tree and wore jeans a lot, i’m pretty much the most girly girl you’ll meet. I love clothes and make up and getting my nails done, I do however get jealous when my husband can shower, change and get ready for a night out in 8 minutes when the only thing I can get done in 8 minutes is decide that my hair needs it’s 5th re-straighten.
Sometimes men just don’t understand what we have to deal with. So here are 10 of the most annoying Girl Problems that haunt my very existence on a daily basis:
1. Hair bobble problems
Is there anything more annoying than the lack of elasticity of a hair bobble? Or even worse, when you stretch one too far to get it round that third time and it snaps ricocheting off the back of your hand and causing a wound that requires immediate medical attention.
2. Short girl problems
I’m a 5’4 gal from a family of 6’2 men, which means when giving my big brother a hug my head nestles perfectly betwixt his nipples, which is just uncomfortable for everyone involved.
3. Sweaty girl problems
I sweat so much at the gym I could give Lee Evans a run for his money. The earbud problem is very real for me, so much so that my doctor actually told me off for wearing them because my sweaty ears were causing my Labrynthitis to flare up. But what are the other options? Beats by Dre? What am I, made of money? Or even worse listen to the Happy Hardcore they pump through the gyms sound system? I think not!
4. Nail varnish problems
I don’t paint my nails these days as much as used to but when I do, you can bet your bottom dollar the left hand will look immaculate and the right hand will look like I just poured the bottle directly onto each nail and hoped for the best. Also, why is it that a heavy gust of wind will smudge your freshly painted finger nails yet paint your toe nails and they can survive a nuclear holocaust?
5. Hair grip problems
There must me a vortex somewhere in my house that all my hair grips and bobbles go, and one day the vortex will implode and every hair accessory I’ve ever owned will come raining down on me like a biblical hair plague. Just a dream I had once.
6. Pale problems
Turns out when you’re naturally blonde, pale isn’t interesting. You can only pull of the whole porcelain skin, English rose look if you have dark hair, blondies just look unwell. Almay liquid foundation in ‘Sand’ used to be perfect for my skin, until it was discontinued in 2008 and I haven’t been able to find a suitable replacement since, so I have to now buy 2 shades and mix them together *eyeroll*
7. Fake tan problems
So to try and combat the pale problem, I use fake tan or tinted moisturiser a lot. Believe me when I say I’ve tried pretty much every product on the market before I settled on Garnier Summer Body lotion. So I have most definitely been guilty of slopping too much on in order to look like I’ve just come back from a fortnight in Greece and ending up looking like an over cooked roast chicken.
8. Handbag problems
Every time I empty out my handbag I always vow to not just throw all my crap in there but it inevitably builds up. There’s stuff currently in my handbag that may or may not be alive and receipts for things I’ve never even bought! I have a rule that I never put used food wrappers in mt bag, yet how does to the bottom look like a whole packet of crumbled up Maryland Cookies? A total, total mystery.
9. Dancing problems
I don’t have to have a drink to dance, I’ll dance pretty much anywhere given half a chance and when I do I am 100% confident I look like Beyonce. Until I see pictures or video back. At least I suppose it’s yet another thing that makes me and Taylor Swift so similar.
10. Weight problems
No matter how much I weigh I always wish I was half a stone lighter. I’m currently about half a stone heavier than when I was at my thinnest, and I look back at those pictures and wish I looked like that again, but when I did look like that I still wasn’t happy. It’s a never ending cycle of self body shaming which I’m sure can’t be healthy! As soon as someone invents vegetables that fill you up and taste like Costco cake icing I’ll be the size zero I’ve always dreamed of!