‘Immature love says ‘I love you because I need you’ mature loves says ‘I need you because I love you’ – Erich Fromm
National Days seem to be all the rage at the moment and I can’t be certain that most of them arent entirely created by the users of Twitter. Today, Wednesday 28th October is apparently national ‘I Love You’ day. Quite how this differs from Valnetines Day I’m not sure. The only thing I can think is that they’re not words that are said that often are they? Or at least, not as often as they ought to be. My husband and I say I love you on almost a daily basis, so much so in fact that I sometimes worry it’s just going to become routine, and that all feeling behind it gets lost, not that that’s happened yet I must add, but you know, one day when we’re both in a care home and I’m telling him about the time I was sick in Angela’s bathroom after too much aftershock for the millionth time, perhaps.
It’s different in a romantic relationship because ‘I love you’ is a romantic phrase, and I think that means we sometimes forget to say it to the other people in our lives we love, but aren’t romantically involved with. You can’have’ love for people without being ‘in’ love with them, but I think both types of love still warrants an ‘I love you’ every now and again.
So in the spirit of National ‘I Love You’day here’s all the people I would like to say those words too, that I probably don’t (apart from Dave!)
David: for all you do for me, for us and our future, for putting up with all the crazy and loving me when I’m not quite so loveable, for making me want to be a better person and not shouting at me too much when I leave wet towels on the bedroom floor – I love you
Steph: for being my sensible voice of reason, always understanding, for always having gin, wine and cuddles ready – I love you
Helena: for bonding with me over boy bands and making me feel like less of a freak, for changing from Nick to Aj at my insistence and for being the only one who truly understand my migraines – I love you
Meagan: for being one of my best friends despite living on different continents, for travelling thousands of miles just to hang out in my living room and drink margaritas and for teaching me how to squat – I love you
Patricia: for coming to New York with me, for looking after me when Dave was away and for setting the perfect example of modern motherhood – I love you
I read. A blog post by Louise who wrote about giving yourself a break every now and again and stop being so hard on yourself. This resonated deep with me as I have always been my own worse critic. So following on from Louise’s wise words, I think today would also be the appropriate it day to say I love you to yourself. And give yourself a pat on the back for a good effort.
I know it all sounds a little bit cheesy but in the name of appreciation and positivity, I don’t see the harm in telling the people you live that you love them, even if it is only one day a year.