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‘There’s two times of year for me: Football season, and waiting for football season’ – Darius Rucker

When Dave and I first got together almost 12 years ago there were 2 lies I told him in order to try and make him like me more. One was that I liked beer (truth was I could stomach 1 half of lager and lime before switching back on to Bacardi Breezers) and the other was that I liked Football.

I did like football. When I was about 12 and we had season tickets to Newcastle United. This was back when they were The Entertainers of course. We had 2 tickets between 4 of us and would rotate each home match. For about 3 seasons I never saw them lose at home, I had my own away strip and I could rattle off the entire team (including subs) in a heartbeat. Problem was, I grew up and discovered boys in boybands and was no longer interested in spending my Saturday afternoon with what was fast becoming bad football and loud, obnoxious, sweary fans.


My brother and I with the late, great Pavel Srnicek when I was about 12

The men in my life however have  remained Football daft and whereas I can’t think of anything that interests me less than what’s going on in the premier league, I don’t really mind watching Newcastle or England play and I like the social aspect that a large tournament such as the World Cup or the Euros brings. Ok, I like being in the pub. So whilst on holiday in Portugal this year the UEFA Euro 2016 Championships are on so instead of trying to beat them I’m joining them and hoppng on board the footie bandwagon.


I asked Dave drunkenly one night over beers and cheap wine what his dream football team would be, thinking it would be something he’s often thought about and would be able to churn out in 30 seconds. Should have known the nature of my husband’s indecisiveness would mean a discussion that would last on and off all night. We got their in the end though and it made with think with the championships now in full swing (and England are still in at time of publish) who would everyone else have in their dream squad? I would do it myself but it would just end up being the 1994/95 Newcastle United Team because in my eyes a team without Rob Lee or Mick Quinn isn’t a team worth writing about.

So over to the men in the know:

Coach: Chris Montague
Supports: Arsenal
Second Team: Newcastle United

Team Name: Monty Warriors

Comments: I’m not sure this is my best team ‘ever’ as that would take me a week of personal deliberation but here goes:

ChrisDream Team

Coach: Dave Newman
Supports: Newcastle United
Second Team: Bristol Rovers

Team Name: Cortes XII

Comments: I would just like to point out that I don’t think this team would actually work but they are the plays I like to watch. I also put in Matt Le Tissier because I couldn’t bring myself to give Christiano Ronaldo the satisfaction of making the cut.


Coach: Steve Quinn
Supports: Aston Villa
Second Team: Sunderland AFC

Team Name: Steve’s Villains

Comments: Well after a lot of changes I’ve finally came up with my team, I’ve gone with players who have only played in my lifetime as the older players like George best and Pele I never saw live.


Coach: Gary Scott
Supports: Newcastle United
Second Team: Valencia 

Team Name: Where is Ronny Gill

Comments: I’ve gone for players that have played during my lifetime. My earliest football memories are from the world cup in 86 so it’s players from then until now. I’ve gone for a 3-4-3 formation because you don’t want to waste space on fullbacks. Most just run up and down a wing and stand where the centre half tells them to.


Coach: Brian Smeaton
Supports: Newcastle United
Second Team: Scunthorpe United

Team Name: Smeateam

Comments: I’ve based it on players that I’ve seen in action rather than other folk’s opinion, so no Pele because I didn’t ever see him play. Schmeichel won so many matches for Man Utd. The defence are all tough, rugged, determined players who always give 100%. The midfield by contrast is no good at tackling, but all players are very creative so will set up loads of chances for the front line.


Coach: Dave Weatherstone
Supports: Newcastle United
Second Team: VFB Stuttgart

Team Name: Invicta

Comments: I’ve gone for the classic 4-4-2 Don’t subscribe to the “flawed genius” theory, all my team need to be nice guys so no Maradona, Best and one or two others. I’d have your Uncle John as Manager in case any egos needed a massage.


Coach: Gary Weatherstone
Supports: Newcastle United
Second Team: Hannover

Team Name: Hartlepool Reserves

Comments: Given a choice between and older or more recent player I would tend to go more recent as I’ve actually seen them play.


So, do you agree? Who would you have in your dream team? Comment below on who you most agree with and who you’d swap out!


  1. Bob
    June 15, 2016 / 8:44 am

    Cortes 11, clearly superior.

  2. June 15, 2016 / 1:32 pm

    I’m the same – dad used to get tickets through work and I used to love watching the toon in their glory years. Nothing beats the atmosphere of St James Park. Now though I couldn’t name a single player!

    I will watch England play and Harry’s school are letting them stay late at school on Thursday to watch it in the hall which is fub.

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