It all started, believe it or not, over a packet of frozen avocado. I’m not passionate about many things, seriously it comes to being unenthusiastic about stuff in general, I could be on the British Olympic ‘Meh’ Team. But avocado is one thing I am passionate about, so when I found out Tesco did peeled and sliced frozen Avocado, well, I was pretty darn excited, my Instagram could now be filled with wanky smug post run brunches – hurrah! Problem is I became too complacent didn’t I? I took for granted I could have avocado anytime I wanted without having to faff on peeling and slicing and having it go everywhere bar on my toast. And Tesco discontinued it (or at least they’ve been ‘currently unavailable’ online for some months now.
This, combined with my recent crisis of confidence over what foundation I should be using, it got me thinking about all the stuff I’ve loved in my life, that have been my holy grails, my go to products, that have been discontinued.
I mean, i’m trying not taking it personally, but there is quite a lot…
Almay Line Smoothing Liquid Foundation in Sand
Almay used to be one of the higher end brands you could get in your local Boots or Superdrug along with Maybelline and Cover Girl (at the time). I can’t really remember when they don’t stocking in the UK, in the Mid 2000s I found myself in the States a lot where I would stock up as it was cheaper. The fact it was no longer available in Manor Walks passed me a by a little. It takes me a lifetime to find a shade that suits my practically transparent complexion and ‘Sand’ was ideal for me and I’ve never quite found anything that matches up ever since.
John Frieda Sheer Blonde Funky Chunky
This worked two ways, you could smooth it through the lengths of your hair for a sleek shiny looks or just dab it on the ends, which separated the ends for that messed up surfer girl look, perfect in the late 90s when I liked to pretend i was in All Saints. It possibly was a time and place thing, however since (based on professional advice) my hair is too fine to be cut into anything other than a shoulder length bob, it would be nice to achieve the messy rock chick look every now again. But, you guessed it, discontinued.
Nothing says going on holiday in the late 90s/early 00s like sun-in. Perhaps if this hadn’t been discontinued I would have to sped £50 every 10 weeks getting my highlights done. Of course it did your hair no good whatsoever and you would come back from 2 weeks in Majorca with hair Wurzel Gummage but my god was it blonde!
Avon Natural Reactions Perfume
Much like the holy grail of foundations I seem to spend a large proportion of my life searching for my own scent. I used to have my own scent, in the form of a signature scent that Oasis (the clothes store) did and Avon’s ‘In the Clouds’ from their Natural Reactions range, both available around 2001/2002. They were both perfect everyday, throw in your handbag scents and I always got lovely compliments when I wore them. It’s very much a reverse of ‘it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all’. I’d rather have never had them then have them and then them be discontinued. It would save me spending a bloody fortune tracking them down on ebay that’s for sure.
Along Came Betty Forget Your Lines Anti Wrinkle Filler
This appeared in my life almost as quickly as it disappeared. Along Came Betty are Tesco’s own ‘Soap and Glory’ style brand and I got a tube of Forget Your Lines in the bargain bin (should have been my first clue) at Tesco in Kinky P and it sat in the bottom of my make up bag for a while until my usual Simple caffeine eye roller ran out. You can forget you Creme de Mare and your No7 Protect and Perfect because this stuff is genius and it smooths out the lines around your eyes in near extinction. It’s so good I even started using it on the line son my forehead too, with the same amazing results. So it’s just my bloody luck that Along Came Betty have now ceased it’s beauty range and only do toiletries. A petition most be started immediately!
All my favourite Alcopops
That’s to the fact I looked like I was 12 until I was well into my 20s, I didn’t really go out drinking until I was legally old enough to do so, but when I did boy did I make up for it. I think Ang and I are the only people who remember Veba, which was a vodka and cherry infused concoction in which the sugar in it actually made you drunker than any alcohol. Metz (probably my favourite of the 3) although I only actually got to drink it 50% of the time as every time I ordered one at the bar my high pitched 18 year old squeak over Fatboy Slim and The Prodigy was always misheard and I ended up with two bottles of Becks. And finally Reef, which was alcoholic fruit juice, which meant you could never really tatse the booze in it, so got you very drunk, very quickly. Sadly it always got that nasty sediment goop at the bottom and there’s many a Wetherspoons barman who rued the day he didn’t stake up my Reef before serving it to me.
Now this really is going back to the 80s and perhaps the reason it got discontinued was that I was the only person in the whole world who bought it (or at least, got my Gran to buy it when we were visiting from abroad). But I loved Tab Clear it didn’t have the sugar or the caffeine in of regular coke (which I would have drank by the gallon if i were allowed) so didn’t send me loopy – sugary drinks still to this day have an alcoholic type affect on me so I steer well clear of them. And it was nice clear and pretty just like 7up. What’s not to love?
What stuff do you wish they’d revive from the dead?