If You Can’t Be Positive Be Quiet

‘No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted’ – Aesop

I feel like I need to get something off my chest that’s been bugging me for a while now. I appreciate that a while back I wrote about how I hate open letters to people and I feel this may be veering down that path but bear with me for a moment.

Whilst this isn’t an open letter aimed at one person or indeed to anyone specific rather a group of people. I’ve been seeing quite a lot of negativity on social media recently and it’s really starting to wind me up. I’m not talking about people moaning about Brexit (it’s happening, get over it) or the new GBBO line up (it’s a TV show ffs) I’m talking about sly digs or shared memes having a unsubtle pop at someone specific. Despite it being *totally* obvious who you’re aiming it and it’s also, well it’s not very nice is it? And quite frankly women are the worse culprits because a lot of us seem to have an inability to be happy for someone else.

PicMonkey Collage

I saw the worse of it back in January when we’d all eaten and drank ourselves into oblivion and some of us were trying so hard to get something that resembled a vitamin back into our bodies. My Instagram was awash with pictures of sweet potato and avocado and sweaty selfies and I loved every single one of them, why? Because I *like* those people. I follow these people because they’re my friends (or at least I wish I was friends with them). Why wouldn’t I show them support by liking a picture of their bland looking dinner which probably tastes like cardboard but will be helping them get back to where they want to be.

I don’t want to come across as some humourless crusader who can’t take a joke because believe me I love a good meme as much as the next person. We all have those groups of people on social media who rub us up the wrong way, the duck faces, the food snappers, the gym rats, the mummy brigade, not everything’s for everyone and of course it would take too much time to like or favourite every single thing you see.

But if you roll you eyes every time someone posts picture of themselves in a bikini or their hot dog legs on a beach or the massive slice of cheesecake their about to tuck into, then that’s on you not them. Because all of those things are cool, and well deserved and if you don’t like it then bloody unfollow them!


I also don’t to claim to be spokesperson for everyone who posts a gym selfie on Instagram but if I could pick just one all encompassing word to describe myself it would be ‘average.’ So as your ‘average’ girl who posts gym selfies I’ll let you into a secret. I post gym selfies because I’m not confident about the way I look and I like the motivation or validation from other people to remind myself that I’m doing OK and I’m doing a good job. I work bloody hard to stay even remotely in shape and when you work hard at something, however narcissistic it may seem, you want everyone to know about it, because being told ‘well done’ by someone, even in the form of a like, feels good. And doing something, anything is better than being a sofa dwelling negative knobhead who sits behind their keyboard criticising everyone else.

We don’t know what pain other people have had in their lives and we don’t know what makes people happy, so in times where countries are trying to declare nuclear war on each other, how about we all just be a little bit kinder to each other, yeah?

I guess if this is an open letter to anyone, it’s an open letter to you; the person who posts sweaty gym pictures, or your big old bowl of pasta, or your finished dissertation, or a selfie of you voting, or are flogging your new business. Because you know what? Bloody well done you, you get the ultimate thumbs up from me, you go Glen Coco!


Thanks to the gorgeous Pixie Tenenbaum who let me stalk her instagram account for pictures to use for this post, who helps me out in all manner of ways blogging and in daily life and who is a general all round badass chick!



  1. April 26, 2017 / 9:33 am

    Yeah! Totally agree Helen – if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I’ve had to hide a few friends on my FB feed as they are constanly having sly digs at people and it makes me sad 🙁

  2. April 26, 2017 / 11:08 am

    Total agree. Being kind is so important

  3. April 28, 2017 / 9:22 am

    I agree completely. On social media you follow to be social not anti-social, and to me slagging people off for trying to better themselves or just be happy with themselves is anti-social behaviour. I think behaviour like that shows a real problem within the person doing the hating, obviously a bit of humour is fine but some people do take things too far!
    Hildy xx

  4. isitjustmeme
    April 29, 2017 / 7:59 am

    Yess to this! It’s bad enough in real life, but social media now makes it way too easy for people to be massive bitches! I also find it really odd that someone would go to the trouble of following someone then just post idiotic comments on their pics/posts. Unfortunately there seems to be many of these!! I’m a firm believer in Say it to my face, or don’t say it at all’. 😊 xx

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