A Birthday Ode to ‘My Friend Carrie’

‘At every stage of my career I have had interesting and cordial colleagues, some of whom have become very close friends’ – Daniel Nathans

One of the benefits of being an army brat and moving country every 3 years for most of my childhood means I’ve always been pretty good at making friends. I have a core solid group of friends from high school but have also picked up and collected amazing friends from every job I’ve ever had and friends of friends who have also become good friends

‘My friend Carrie’ is one of my newest, but quickly becoming one of my closest friends. We met at work and despite her having probably worse (self-confessed) resting bitch face of anyone I’ve ever seen, I quickly won her over with some creme egg brownies and a mutual love for early 00s hip hop.

‘My friend Carrie’ is undoubtedly one of my biggest fans when it comes to the blog and we were discussing recently how many mentions she needs to have before she graduates from ‘my friend Carrie’ to simply; Carrie. In same conversation I asked her what she wanted for her 30th birthday this year and she jokingly said ‘a blog post about how wonderful I am’.  Problem with me is I tend to take things a little too literally sometimes, not to mention it made me instantly regret splashing out on that bottle of premium rum.

They say be careful what you wish for.

So in honour of one of my best besties joining the 30 club. Here are, in no particular order, 10 things that make her so wonderful:

She has a depth of 90s pop culture knowledge which is rivalled only by me. I can drop some 90s or early 00s quotes like ‘Steps ain’t no square dance’ or ‘who loves orange soda?’ And she will know exactly what I’m talking about.

Had I not seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it but Carrie can Irish dance really, really well, like B*Witched standard well. And because she’s not a wallflower like me (ahem), she’s not averse to throwing some Irish shapes on the dance floor on a night out. Which leaves me as impressed as it does jealous.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and when it comes to fashion; my style is straight out of the Cosgrove look book. She introduced me to the concept of the skinny jean/bomber jacket combo, and a scarf as a statement necklace and my life was forever changed. She also brings me black clothes from America (where she goes quarterly) and picks up jumpers in GAP for me she knows I’ll like. She’s a keeper for sure.

 

On the subject of statement necklaces, Carrie has more jewellery than Goldsmiths and is very generous in lending it out. A staple is this H&M number which goes with absolutely everything and everyone who knows Carrie has probably worn it at some point in time.

When I ran the Great North Run last year, her, Emma and Jayne stood at the top of John Reid Road to cheer me on. Due to Carrie’s afore mentioned resting bitch face, when I did see them I was expecting a sarcastic remark about what took me so long or that I looked like shit (both of which would be valid points). However she was quite possibly the most excited I’ve ever seen her. Which means that although I may be met with a barrage of daily insults and her own unique brand of tough love, she shows up for you when it really counts.

 

Who needs Susie Dent when you have wor Cazza around? She was clearly a lexicographer in a previous, as well as kind of in her current life. If ever I’m stuck for an analogy or synonym she’s the first person I contact, which, despite the fact that she (wrongly) loves an oxford comma, comes in very handy when your side hustle revolves solely around writing.

 

One thing I’ve learnt over my adulthood is that you have different friends for different reasons. If I’m having a pathetic stress about something trivial like dying my hair rose gold I will go to different people depending on what I want to hear. If I want to be pampered and told that I’m amazing I’ll go to Ang and Emma, if I want someone to actually solve my problem for me with some straight talking, no nonsense advice. I’ll go to Carrie. And she. Is. Always. Right. Curses.

 

Believe me, as far as I can remember Carrie has never been a big fat fatty but she decided she was one day a few years ago and decided to do something about it. 2 years and 3 stone later she’s gone from regular fittie to super slim world class megababe. And as someone who has always struggled with her weight and is always on a diet, I have the utmost respect for her for sticking with it. I mean just look….

She knows me annoyingly well. She notices things and remembers minute details about me and my psyche all the time which, although can blindside me that she knows me so well after such a short time, makes me feel like she’s super invested. She knows when I’m starting to stress about ridiculous things it’s because I’m massively PMS-ing, she knows that one innocuous comment from someone random will make me overthink myself into oblivion and she knows that if I get my hair dyed rose gold I will end up hating it and getting it corrected almost instantly. I mean, on this one I’m very likely to ignore her, but she will be right.

 

She has a confidence and self belief that I wish I had. She is sure of herself and her abilities and apart from occasional smugness about being right all the time, she’s not a dick about. To quote the great Will Smith ‘she’s not conceited, she’s as good as she says she is’

I think it’s safe to say after an entire blog post written in her honour she will no longer be referred to as ‘My friend Carrie’ on the blog any more. Possibly because she will never speak to me again after she reads this.

But hopefully she will continue to be mentioned as she joins me on more drunken adventures, documented or otherwise. Or at the very least she now knows how much her friendship means to me and fabulous I truly thinks she is….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARRIE!! HAVE A SMASHER!