Two weeks ago I wrote about whether I thought lockdown has made me selfish. Which, if that’s true, obviously isn’t a good thing. So it made me have another think, now we’re in lockdown week 22, about the good and the bad that has come out of this crazy situation.
Quick story. A few years ago on a night out I was wearing this:
Carrie said to me ‘you’re looking very 90s tonight, you look lovely’ what I heard was ‘you’re looking very 90s tonight, you realise it’s 2018 right? You look like a tit’. The point being, I struggling looking on the bright side sometimes, or indeed listen to the actual words that come out of peoples mouths. So, I found that I physically couldn’t just write another post about the positives I’ve found with being stuck in the house with Dave for 5 months without pointing out the negatives too. The roses and the thorns if you will.
THE ROSES
I’ve put myself first for the first time ever. Whether it be about my physical health and keeping myself safe by not making any unnecessary trips or my mental health by indulging in Netflix marathons of Below Deck, I’ve been pretty much able to do what I want to do in lockdown.
I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve worn make up in lockdown and the more natural look has meant my hair and skin has never looked better. I’m also using this time to ‘train’ my hair to not need washing so often and I have so far managed to go from washing every other day to every 3-4 days. On an MS Teams call you can’t really tell the difference between ‘greasy’ and ‘shiny’ as much as you could in person and that’s working in my favour right now
Working from home has given me the flexibility to switch up my routine to suit what else is going on, which I never really had working from an office. My work has always been extremely flexible, don’t get me wrong, but working from home means that if the forecast looks bad later in the day, I can get my run done or go to the gym first thing. Then just work a little later on. I think this is going to be particularly handy in the winter when the nights get dark, at least i’ll be able to go out and get some exercise in the daylight. It also means when the weather’s been nice we’ve been able to log off early and get some sun, instantly, rather than having to rush home from the office by which time you could guarantee the sun will have disappeared.
Because bars and restaurants haven’t been open I’ve been able to completely pay off my credit card bill which is extremely liberating. It’s also worrying how much money I used to spend on going out, so perhaps that’s a lesson learned to reign in the spending a little if and when things go back to normal. I haven’t been spending that much money on clothes either since my wardrobe these days seem to consist of leggings and t-shirts or shorts and t-shirts, there’s only so many combinations of those items you really need.
THE THORNS
It’s pretty much a given but despite what my bank balance says, I miss my social life; going out and seeing my family and friends and the impulsiveness with which we used to be able to make plans. Now if you fancy going somewhere you have to check if it’s open, or you need a mask, or a reservation or that we were able to successfully socially distant. Which makes the whole idea of going out way less appealing.
It’s surprising considering Twitter has always been historically a safe haven of lively intelligent debate and non judgement, but now even more so, there seems to be so much lockdown oneupmanship and who’s having a tougher time, or who’s ‘sticking to the rules’ better than anyone else. We’re all struggling, we’ve all made sacrifices, we’re all missing people. We’re also all trying to navigate the rules as best we can and might not get it 100% right 100% of the time. #bekind doesn’t seem to have lasted very long.
In he beginning when we didn’t know how long this was going to last (I genuinely believed we would still go on holiday on 9th June), it was a good excuse to batten down the hatches and order takeaways and treats and drink more, because there was almost literally nothing else to do to keep spirits up or look forward to. As such i’m carrying my own ‘COVID 19’ mainly around my thighs and arse, which makes me feel fat and sluggish. This is life now, well, at least for the next few months and I can’t just keep getting more and more unhealthy and feeling bad about myself. So I’m back on the health wagon after bank holiday.
Don’t get me wrong, Sunday nights and Monday mornings are so much more pleasant with out the dash into an office in rush our to have to contend with, and in terms of work colleagues Dave is alright I guess but I’m missing being in an office and find it very isolating. I’ve recently started a new role and if I were in an office I would have all my lovely colleagues around me to run ideas past or proof read emails for me. Even just listening of being part of office chatter sparks collaboration and inclusivity and I really miss that feeling part of a team vibe. I also feel working from home has made me paranoid and worrying I’m being left out of stuff or talked about, which I never felt like in an office.
I never really realised how much of booking a holiday is just having something to look forward to so much as the actually time off as well. We’ve had every single trip we had booked this year cancelled, which under the circumstances isn’t the end of the world, we haven’t lost any money and it’s nothing that couldn’t be re-arranged for a later date but now I feel I’m just a bit stuck on that treadmill of work, weekend, work, weekend, all within the same four walls. We do, however had a long weekend coming up, having taken a extra few days off for the bank holiday and I’m determined to actually go somewhere farther than the 5 mile radius of our house.
Tell me about your lockdown ups and downs…
