Scissor Happy Sally: My Unhappy Haircut

‘The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is two weeks’ – My Mum

One of my new years resolutions every year is to try and learn a new language. However today at my local hair salon I learnt that I actually needn’t bother with that resolution as I clearly speak a foreign language already. A language were the phrase ‘I’m growing it, so please just a trim on the ends’ translates to ‘please hack a new layer and completely restyle it’!

So my hair has gone from this:

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To this

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Today marked a first for me as it’s the first time I’ve ever gone back to my hairdressers because I’ve been so unhappy (I normally just bitch and moan at home, grow it our and swear never to go back again!) At first it looked like two different haircuts, long at the bottom and short on top; a mullet if you will. At the end of the day I paid £65 for the cut and highlights (which I love btw) that I don’t think I should be that unhappy with it. She was fine about it (what she said about me after I left is anyone’s guess). She thinned out the top layer a ton so it’s loads better but I still I don’t like the short layer over my ear and now there’s less weight on the underneath I’m worried it will flick out. Any girl who’s trying to grow her hair out will testify that the dreaded ‘flicking out’ stage is a nightmare.

So I know it’s not totally drastically different, and it’s not a bad haircut by any means. Putting everything into perspective I know there are women out there who for whatever reason would love to have my hair (in either picture) and it will grow pretty quickly. What really annoys me the most is that it’s simply not what I asked for. Speaking to some of my girlfriends and it seems like everyone has come across a Scissor Happy Sally a few times in their lives so it’s nice to know I’m not alone and sounds like it’s just a rite of passage I need to go through as a woman! Thank heavens we’ve just had a flurry of snow and it’s still hat season!

Now where’s that link to those vitamins that make your hair grow quickly…..

What Do You Get The Girl Who Has Everything?

‘In suggesting gifts; money is appropriate, and one size fits all’ – William Randolph Hearst

I don’t know about you but I have a distinct feeling that the older you get the harder you become to buy for. Gone are the days when I had a Christmas List as long as my arm full of cds, and gadgets or earmarking every other page in the back of the Argos catalogue.  I had a few things on my list (as mentioned here) but nothing major, and I really struggled giving people ideas of what they could get me.

Luckily, this Christmas I discovered the answer to the age old question ‘What do you get the girl who has everything’? Turns out, what you get her, is this:

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It’s a bracket that sticks to the side of the bath so you can have a glass of wine whilst having that lovely Friday night, post gym, thank fluff the weekend is here soak. The funny thing is, I didn’t even know how much I needed this in my life until i got it! Here’s mine in action:

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Bath time at the Newman’s just got way more fun!

Get your own Bath wine glass holder from the Handpicked Collection here (psst. it’s in the sale at the moment!)

MTV’s The Challenge: Battle of the Exes 2 Drinking Game

‘All’s fair in love, war and challenges’ – Johnny Bananas

I wouldn’t even go so far as to say that MTV’s Real World/Road Rules spin of show The Challenge is one of my guilty pleasures, I don’t feel guilty about how much I love this show at all!

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Anyone who watches the show regularly will know that there are a lot of common themes that show up time and time again each season, so I figured, why not marry that with the only love of my life; booze!

I’ve devised a very simple drinking game to spice up your viewing experience of the current season (Battle of the Exes 2) which kicked off this week*

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We’ll start off gently….

Take a sip every time….

  • Someone is referred to as a ‘veteran’ or ‘fresh meat’
  • Someone is voted into an elimination round by the rest of the cast
  • Someone cries (for any reason)
  • Someone smack talks another cast member in a VT
  • The word ‘alliance’ is mentioned

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Take two sips every time……

  • A clue is received from TJ on whatever mobile device is being shamelessly plugged this season
  • TJ says ‘get it done’ or ‘you need to pick it up’
  • Someone is topless (girls or guys) when there’s no requirement to be ie. Not in the shower, sleeping, swimming etc
  • Someone refers to Johnny Bananas as simply ‘Bananas’

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Finish your drink every time…

  • CT wins a challenge
  • The least popular team wins an elimination round & the remaining teams are pissed off
  • There’s a hookup
  • There’s a breakup

Now to ramp up a little…

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Take a shot every time…

  • Someone is stumped by a puzzle
  • An item of furniture is thrown
  • TJ announces some kind of twist
  • Johnny Bananas refers to himself in the third person

And finally….

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Take 2 shots every time…..

  • TJ says how much he hates quitters
  • Someone says ‘balls to the wall’ or ‘going for the W’
  • The location of the challenge changes
  • Someone gets sent home for breaking the rules

*it goes without saying that this is all just a bit of fun, please drink responsibly!

Misheard Song Lyrics

‘I think as long as a song has beautiful lyrics, I’m so happy’ Julie Andrews

Over the Christmas period when the family were all together we all got talking about misheard song lyrics we believed to be true as children (or maybe even adults), so I’ve listed some of the most chucklesome ones that came up in conversation below, feel free to too your own in the comments box!

Artist Song Actual Lyric Misheard Lyric Misheard By
Sound of Music OST So Long, Farewell Auf wiedersehen goodbye Our feet are saying goodbye Dad
Gwen Stefani Hollaback Girl I ain’t no hollerback girl I ain’t no harlem black girl Wishes to remain anonymous
Earth Wind & Fire Boogie Wonderland Dance! Boogie Wonderland Dance! Boogie with your dad Me
Adele Chasing Pavements Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements Should I give up or should I just keep chasing payments Ali
Eternal I Wanna Be The Only One My Lord you do Je mange tout Emma
Rita Ora Hot Right Now Hot Right Now Half price now Tara
KD Lang Constant Craving Constant Craving Can’t stand gravy Faye
Eva Cassidy Somewhere Over the Rainbow Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie Louise
Oceanic Insanity Take me, into insanity, oh yeah. Dream trippin yeah. That’s where I wanna be. Take me, into insanity, oh yeah. Green kippers yeah. That’s where I wanna be. Alan
Toto Africa I bless the rains down in Africa I left some brains down in Africa Me
Eiffel 65 Blue I’m blue da ba de da ba die I’m blue if I was green I would die Aileen
Idina Menzel Let It Go Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back any more Let it go, let it go, can’t honey back any more Darcy (aged 5)
Michael Jackson Black or White I’m not going to spend my life being a colour I’m not going to spend my life being a brother Angela
The Automatic Monster What’s that coming over the hill is it a monster What’s that coming over the hill is it a rockstar Angela
Fall Out Boy This Ain’t a Scene This aint a scene it’s a goddam arms race This ain’t a scene it’s a goddam arse face Garry
Madonna La Isla Bonita a young girl with eyes like the desert A young girl with eyes like potatoes Me

Some further material if you want to see what other people have being mishearing all these years: http://www.kissthisguy.com/